Have You Ever Ever Lost An Elephant?

I’m going out to buy a record player today. Yes, I am cutting edge.

I’ve kept only one toy from my childhood.. a brown stuffed dog named Jingles.  The pup was a gift on my fifth birthday from my Grandmother… and was my cherished companion every night when I slept.  Many nights I cuddled Jingles.. whispering secrets.. sometimes a few tears…

Jingles disappeared at one point around the time I was about 30.  I figured it would turn up eventually.. somewhere in the house.  Around the same time, one of my daughter’s first toys.. a small black lamb named “Bobby” (get it? Baaaaaabby…)  also went missing. Despite many searches, they remained lost.

Flash forward five years.. one day I was taking my son Josh to school and was having a chat with his grade 2 teacher when I looked down at the toy shelf.. and there was Jingles!  “That’s my dog!” I exclaimed and went on to “prove” it.. one of Jingles eyes was chipped.. and he had a wire inside him to hold his shape.. it was still bent inside from my many nights of cuddling…

And sitting beside Jingles… was Bobby!!

Mrs. Hardy and I figured out that Katy brought the toys for show and tell and forgot them. They had been sitting in her class ever since.. being played with by countless children over the course of 5 years..  Thankfully, Mrs. Hardy let me take both toys back.. Obviously, we were meant to get Jingles and Bobby back…. Katy and both have these precious childhood souvenirs on display in our respective bedrooms.

Twice recently I had occasion to talk about another childhood toy.. the Mickey Mouse record player.

My sisters and I received it for Christmas from Santa one year along with 100 kids 45’s .. we had picked it out ourselves whilst browsing through the Sears Wish Book. That Santa is SMRT.

We’d play all the records.. and dance around..

My youngest sister, Lara, was very fond of the record player and would play music all day long while Barb and I were at school.  In particular, Lara enjoyed “The Elephant Song”.  She would play the  same 45 over, and over, and over…. again.  My mother drew little elephants on the label so that Lara would know which record it was..

This song has special  notoriety in my family as a result.. .when we were much younger, the three of us started “performing” the song for our cousins and such amid much laughter. There’s a musical interlude in the song.. and when singing it at one point for said relatives, when we got to that part, we elected to insert a “nose solo”. It brought the house down.

As a result of our unique singing ability, my sisters and I have been coerced into singing said musical masterpiece at various family functions.. particularly weddings…. the nose solo is still the highlight of the tune.

So twice in the last week the subject of the infamous Elephant Song and the Mickey Mouse Record player has come up. I’ve never been able to find this song on the interwebs.. and I’ve never run across anyone else who’s even heard of the song.. until I sing it for them in my most operatic  vibrato…  Katy and I even performed the song one evening for her boyfriend… and yes, he lost it at the nose solo….

I was out for a walk yesterday and while waltzing down King Street I looked into a store window… and there it was!! The Mickey Mouse record player!  Mickey’s outstretched arm across the turntable as if he was pointing at me.. “Beth! Look! It’s your old pal Mickey!”

I am a huge believer in “signs”.. and this one was certainly directed at me.  On the turntable? No, not the elephant song, but a 45 about “Meditation and Self Realization”… message noted, Universe.

I’ve been re-evaluating and soul searching and working on various self improvement for a while now.. and I certainly believe this message was aimed directly at me.. plus, the thought of that record player and the joy it brought us brings back many happy memories..

I had dogs with me, so couldn’t go in… I called the store later in the day and yes, it’s for sale. I’m going to get it today… and perhaps look through their 45’s for the aforementioned paean to pachyderms…

I’ve never, ever lost an elephant… but I did lose my stuffed dog once.. but more importantly, I’m continually finding out more about myself every day.

The Elephant Song

Have you ever ever lost an elephant? It’s really quite a silly thing to do

But there’s something even sillier.. and that is losing two

And that’s what we have done today.. Arthur and Celeste have run away..

Their mother’s crying and worried so… oh where oh where did our elephants go?

We have lost 2 little elephants.. we’re looking north and south and east and west..

for two thousand pounds of dear little elephants.. named Arthur and Celeste.

(insert nose solo)

And that’s what we have done today.. Arthur and Celeste have run away..

Their mother’s crying and worried so… oh where oh where did our elephants go?

We have lost 2 little elephants.. we’re looking north and south and east and west..

for two thousand pounds of dear little elephants.. named Arthur and Celeste…

Arthur and Celeste….

Arthur and Celeste…..Arthur! Celeste!….

Life: The universe is conspiring on my behalf

Love: I love when interesting things happen

Pants: Walking a lot every day.. for exercise and for the adventures!

The Luckiest Girl in the World

Today was a strange anniversary of sorts… the 15th Anniversary of the day I was cut out of a car.  I reflect and celebrate this day every year.

In October 1994 I found out I was pregnant with our second child.. I told my husband on our anniversary.. October 6th.  That weekend we went to my parents for dinner… told them I was pregnant again .. and we went to the movies (went to see True Lies…)  And… my car was stolen from the parking lot of the Centre Mall in Hamilton, Ontario (yeah yeah, cracks about the Hammer.. I’ve heard ‘em all…).

We're survivors. And good looking too... LOL

On the plus side, we got a ride home in a police car.. on the downside, we lost my briefcase, some golfclubs.. five year old Katy lost her “bra” .. she was quite upset.. oh, and the car.

The car.. my little red 1990 Dodge Shadow.. was found about a week later and we towed it to Waterloo to get fixed up. All in all it was gone about a month.. and on November 1, 1994 I went to Gary’s Automotive to pick up my newly restored vehicle.

It was AWESOME! All clean and repainted and pretty and shampooed.. I sat in the parking lot for a bit waiting for the car to defog and just getting used to it.. then headed out of the parking lot.

I drove about a block and stopped at the sign.. it’s a funny intersection where the stop sign is before the corner and there’s a bunch of trees… I stopped at the sign very carefully as there were new brakes on the car… then started through the intersection… and was suddenly slammed by another car.

I literally didn’t see what hit me. Tires screeching, glass shattering.. the awful crashing sound… I spun 180 degrees and ended up across the street on the lawn of a business.

People came running.. I didn’t appear to be bleeding… but the back of my head hurt.. I had been hit on the driver’s side and I was practically in the middle of the car.  All I could think about was that I was eight weeks pregnant… and would the baby be okay.

One of the women who came to help asked who she could call.. I gave her my husband’s number.. the paramedics arrived. I was in shock.

The firefighter told me I’d have to be cut out of the car. I asked him to pass me my purse.  He said I didn’t need it, but I insisted. I dug through it and handed him a piece of gum.  He had AWFUL breath. (I told you, I was in shock).

I told them that I was pregnant. … They cut me out, put me on a backboard and in an ambulance and to the hospital.  They took the fellow who hit me too.. another mechanic testing the brakes on a car (guess they weren’t working so great…) He had a large gash in his head.. he hadn’t been wearing a seatbelt and hit the windshield.

My husband showed up at the hospital and the first thing he said to me was “if you’re going to have a car accident every time you get pregnant, we’re not having any more kids”.. I had had a minor fender bender while pregnant with Katy…. I laughed.  Then I cried. I was terrified. And covered in glass.

They wanted to xray me but could not due to the pregnancy..  they checked me out.. but they gave me an ultrasound which showed the baby’s heartbeat.. and then tried to get me to stand at which point I screamed out in pain. I had fractured my pelvis at my right hip.  Consequently I was bedridden for weeks and had to walk with crutches and a cane for a long time… and no drugs because of the baby. I was fine with that. As long as my baby was safe.

It was a difficult pregnancy as a result.. and then the delivery of the baby was fraught with problems and I had to have an emergency Caesarean section. He nearly died. I nearly died.

But we didn’t.  Joshua Sade James Warren is now a wonderful 14 year old boy… well, as wonderful as 14 year old boys can be.

He’s hilariously funny.. and I thank God every single day that we both lived through our ordeal.  Because it could have been much much worse.

So, this morning I gave him a hug and told him what day it was and that I loved him and that I was SO thankful that he was an irritating, smart ass,  pain in the butt teenager. And he told me he loved me too. Then he played “Mortal Combat”. Again. And did not watch his language.

Later in the day Josh and I were trying to heave some pumpkins into a large refuse container and not having a ton of luck.. (it’s very tall).. we would throw them and miss and they would nearly hit us ….but we were laughing our heads off..  Then we were headed out.. and  once we got into the car realized that Josh had stepped in dog crap.. so we had to pull over so he could freak out and clean off his shoe.

He got quite upset over his little accident.. but I reminded him that in the scheme of things.. it was really inconsquential. And he agreed. But still complained a bit.

As many challenges as life throws my way, I know I’m up for them.  I could be dead. I could not be mother to one of the most wonderful people in the world (please keep in mind that my daughter is also one of those..)

I have my beautiful children… my health.. I no longer walk with a limp (although the hip does pain me on occasion..).. and I have a wonderful life.

And therefore, I am the luckiest girl in the world.

Life: All good baby!

Love: Here’s your answer

Pants: Looser! All good…

A 5 Year Old’s Guide to Hitchhiking

When I was five years’ old I hitchhiked. 

At one point, my childhood friend Julie and I were standing in her front yard and she showed me that if you stuck your thumb out, then someone would stop and give you a ride.  So really, it’s all her fault.

This is me at age 1. I couldnt' find a picture of me at age 5. But I was cute. Trust me.

Here’s what happened.. one lovely summer’s day, my family and I (Mom, Dad, Barb, Lara and myself..) were on the way home in the station wagon and we needed to stop at a Mac’s Milk for.. well, milk. My sisters and I were kind of fighting and my mother was very annoyed with us. 

My dad ran in to get the milk and as he was heading into the store, he noticed a bird’s nest in the rafters and commented on it and how you could see the baby birds.  We wanted to get out of the car to look, but my mother wouldn’t let us because we weren’t behaving. I was annoyed. I wanted to see baby birds!

We went home and I think we had to all go to our rooms since we were misbehaving.  Well, let me tell you.. the misbehaving was just beginning.

We lived in a bungalow at the time and my bedroom window opened onto the front porch. Being the amateur escape artist that I was… I decided that I didn’t want to stay in my room and climbed out the window and went to Julie’s house. 

Julie wasn’t allowed to come out.. so for some reason, I decided that it would be a good idea to walk to the Mac’s Milk to see those baby birds.  I  craved adventure.

Please keep in mind that I was 5 years old. And that Mac’s Milk was located at the intersection of Hwy 8 and Hwy 20 in the east end of Hamilton Ontario. And it was about one and a half miles from my house. This I was unaware of.. being 5 and all.

So I started walking.. walking all the way down King St (Highway 8)… and passing by numerous things that I had only ever passed in the car, but was curious about. Like a little shed that my sister Barb and I were SURE was home to some elves or gnomes.. in reality, it contained water pipes. I was deeply disappointed.

When I finally got to the Mac’s Milk I looked up to see these baby birds. And saw NOTHING. No freakin’ nest. No freakin’ birds.  Awesome. I looked and looked. Nothing. Suckage.

I started walking back toward home.. and I was tired. (Remember? Five years old.. over a mile.. short legs.. )

I suddenly remembered how Julie told me that if I stuck my thumb out I’d get a ride. So I did. And a car stopped.

It was a black car (a Chev I believe..) with red interior and there was a man and a lady with a scarf on her head. I got in the car.. and they asked me my name and where I lived.  And we started driving and I gave them directions.

(At this point I’d like to thank God, Jesus, Buddha and Allah for sending these people instead of psycho killers. Thanks.)

We headed toward home and at some point it suddenly struck me that I might get into trouble for this little adventure. I tried to get them to drop me off on the corner a block from my house.. and they refused. They wanted me to get home safely. So I had to tell them exactly where I lived.

I distinctly remember saying to them that I lived in the house where the man was washing the driveway.  (This was before we all got all environmentally conscious and you could still do said things.. ) They pulled up and left me in the care of my lovely and hopefully hugely forgiving .. father.

Needless to say, my parents were unaware that I left the house.. I have no idea how long I was gone.. but …also needless to say.. I got in a LOT of trouble. A LOT.

There are several morals to this story.. first of all.. you really shouldn’t hitchhike. Especially if you’re five. Don’t take rides from strangers. I just got lucky that they were nice strangers.  And as much as you crave adventure, be careful.  That, and I had a better sense of direction at age 5 than most adults I know do.

Oh, and if your dad tells you there’s a bird’s nest… just take his word for it.

Life: All good baby… all good

Love: Makes the world go around..

Pants: Looser.

What I learned by Seeing a Dog get Hit by a Car….

I didn’t intend to post twice today.. but when the mood strikes.. there ya go.

I saw a dog get hit by a car today. 

these dogs were leashed and therefore made it home safely.

I took the wonderdogs.. Barley and Mocha… out for a big walk.  We started out on the  Iron Horse trail and kept walking…. I was enjoying the crisp autumn air.. the falling leaves… and the dogs themselves (except for when they tangled around me and tried to trip me.  I think it was on purpose too.. you THINK they’d be more grateful.)

We hiked up the trail past the Stampede Corral and then took a turn along a piece of the path that we hadn’t yet explored.  It curved around and we ended up on a little sidestreet which emptied out back onto Stirling… so we turned that way to head back home.

As we strode along there were suddenly two small dogs at my heels.. one looked to be a pug and the other some type of pointy dog.. and consequently I had dog leads wrapped around me and four dogs sniffing and exploring one another amidst some growling (from Mocha, of course..) 

These dogs did not have collars on.. and as Mocha is sometimes not good with other dogs, they frankly made me a little nervous despite their small stature.  I kept trying to walk.. but they kept following.. and Mocha was not liking it.  Suddenly a woman called out behind me and asked that I stop as she couldn’t run to get the dogs as she was pregnant.  I stopped… but then her dogs ran away.. far ahead of me.  So I walked a bit further… they came back to me again.. so I stopped so she could catch up.  I turned around and she was gone.. I saw her at the far end of the street walking back toward her home.

Sooooo.. I continued walking.. hoping these dogs would have the sense to head home as well.. but they bolted again and ran far ahead.  I crossed the street .. hoping to get back on the path and out of sight of the two pups.  But suddenly they turned around and came running back again.. one of them spotted us across the street and came bounding across… barely being missed by one car, but then getting clocked by a second vehicle as I watched in horror.

The pug immediately jumped up yelping.. the driver pulled to the side (God bless you sir) and the dog went running best he could.. limping and yelping toward home… with no sign of his buddy in sight.  A man much further down the street picked up the dog and appeared to be taking it toward his home.

A man doing yardwork asked if I knew these dogs.. whose they were.. I had never seen them before.. we chatted briefly about it.. then I headed back on the path toward home.

During my walk I had been debating about doing something… weighing pros and cons…. reasoning.. and hadn’t reached a decision.  However, I am and have always been a “everything for a reason” type of person.

It illustrated to me that things can change in a heartbeat. An instant. One minute you are out frolicking.. the next minute you’ve been smacked upside the head. 

I wouldn’t have turned for home leaving my dogs on such a busy street… but I don’t know what that woman’s situation is.  Neither would my dogs be running around without collars.  But.. you can’t force your opinions on others.. nor can you control someone else’s actions.

 Therefore, I’m going with my gut. I’ve made my decision. And whatever happens with it… I’m happy about it. I feel it’s the right thing to do.

Carpe Diem. Seize the day.  Because in a fingersnap, it can all change. 

And keep your dogs on a leash.

“I KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST SUMMER… “

You know that movie about 4 teens who end up getting stalked by someone after they run over a guy and dump his body in the ocean?  Yeah, my summer was kinda like that.

roller coaster ride. Obviously before I suffered brain damage. Wait, look at that smile. May be after...

No, no you won’t know if that’s what EXACTLY happened until you read this post. And I won’t tell you till the end if I actually smushed a guy like in that movie…or if I just mocked something till they wished I had smushed them.  And don’t skip to the end. The program tracks those who do. Which may or may not be how that guy may or may not have ended up  in the ocean or perhaps just with hurt feelings…….

I recently noticed that summer was over and I felt like it had passed me by.. as if I hadn’t really DONE anything this summer.. so I made a list..

In early June it was my son Josh’s birthday.. the lovely boy turned 14. He’s taller than me now. Guess the “I’ll put you over my knee” threat no longer is valid. We went go-karting. I gave him money. Good day. We also played Rock Band.

Mid June brought UpTown Country.. great festival put on by a fun group of people. Shout outs from the stage from Sean Hogan and lots of hugs from people I hadn’t seen for a while. I miss y’all too. 

End of June.. Josh in his dark suit and Chucks’ graduated from Grade 8.  I am a proud mama.

Jodi the BFF’s birthday -  we celebrated by going to see the Fray with the 3^rd Super Exciting Friend, Fernando.  Thankfully, we spent much time in the lounge as the Fray is pretty near as depressing as Coldplay and therefore sorrows needed to be drowned.  On the way back to the car, we were nearly attacked by seagulls.

with my cousins in Pembroke. SO much fun

Josh got a really bad sunburn that resulted in the nickname “Lobster Boy” for at least a week.

Finally moved out of Barrie.  My big send off involved myself and my new friends via Twitter.. Robb M (@astroboy) and Jon (@JonAston) getting together for a drink.. or several.  I believe we found the answers to world peace, Peak Oil, how they get the caramel in the Caramilk bar and whether or not Britney’s breasts are real.  Of course, there were several beers and dirty martinis and all of those answers have been lost….

July 15^th. Moved from Barrie to St. Catharines to live with BFF Jodi. Thank God for Fernando and Joe and their amazing packing skills.. and for Jodi for not punching me when I brought so much stuff to her house..

Josh and I took a trip to Marineland and determined that we should get season passes which requires not only pictures, but  fingerprinting and a brain scan.  Apparently there have been issues with identical twins borrowing each others passes…  We skipped the “go up really high and then drop from the sky and hopefully don’t smash into the ground like a bug” ride as we didn’t want to climb the big hill.  We fed bears corn pops, ate pizza, saw whales, enjoyed the musical stylings of Walter Ostanek… and then proceeded to ride the Dragon Fire roller coaster 6 times or until I could literally hear my brain sloshing from side to side. 

Jodi and I took Josh across the border for the first time and we ate dinner in Lewiston.. A few days later we went across again and took him to see the Trews and met my Twitter friend Nancy (@nannerland)… and enjoyed an awesome show and people who danced in puddles.  We also fed Josh old candy out of our purses because we spent all our money on beer.

In August, we went to Kitchener and had lunch with Randy Bachman and took him to Home Hardware (you can read about that here…) I did a very long interview with him.. which you can read about here…  then we watched Bachman-Cummings that night and it was AMAZING!

Chris (Katy’s BF) and I overruled Katy and Josh with our duet on American Idol. Yeah. Even Simon liked us.

After several years I finally saw my buddy Mike Lynch .. cause he too lives in St Catharines!   We had wings and beer and I learned where 2 more dirty St Kitts bars are.. check out his music..

 Went to see the Gin Blossoms but not before I had to YouTube some of their songs cause I couldn’t think of any.  And we went to Top’s Friendly Markets. Steven was right. Sweet Baby Ray’s is the best damn BBQ sauce ever.

Went for a visit to the Ottawa Valley for my Aunt Pat’s 80^th birthday party.. great seeing all the relatives and catching up with everyone. Much laughter and fun.  Also was able to hook up in Ottawa with more Twitter friends.. Lynda Partner (@lyndapartner) and Kneale Mann (@knealemann)… awesome!

One of the adventures of the summer was going to see Miranda Lambert and Kenny Chesney in concert.  Sure, the music was great… but before we even got there we had already survived a tornado touching down in downtown Toronto and me ripping out the seat of my pants.  Again, thank god for the Amex Lounge and people with expense accounts.

Had a lovely dinner at my sister’s with our cousin Maureen.. fun fun.

My friend Steven and I went to Lewiston’s ArtPark for the final blast of the summer to see Peter Frampton. Took Josh. This time I brought enough money that he could get pizza. There were THOUSANDS of people there. I don’t believe there were any fatalities.

The Germans.. Alex & Carl.. came to visit and we hooked up for a visit while they were here. Beer, conversation, laughter and more beer. And more laughter. Carl’s website is here.. he is the authority on heavy metal .. not just in Canada or Germany, but world wide. And he likes beer.  http://carlbegai.com/

There was also much barbequing, socializing and fun.  So even though the summer is over (I was in  denial for weeks, obviously..) the fall’s been pretty good.. AC/DC.. family celebrations.. Oktoberfest.. it’s all good.

Oh, and no, I didn’t hide a body over the summer.. however I did accidentally run over a possum.  Thankfully, it has not come back to seek revenge…..

Life: It’s all GOOD.

Love: Amazing.

Pants: Looser. Again, All good.

Serendipity.. Life Lessons Learned in the back of a Cab

Serendipity: A very good coincidence, often leading to something really awesome. (Urban Dictionary.com)

I had occasion to take a cab yesterday.

I do one of two things whilst taking a ride with a stranger…. I either end up having a lengthy conversation about current events, the weather or the city I’m in or where I’m going.. Or I don’t talk much at all except to give the address and such. 

When I got into the cab, the driver gave me a friendly hello and of course asked where I was going.  I had to tell him where exactly it was as he wasn’t familiar with that area of town.  I told him as well as I could, explaining that I was a recent transplant to Niagara region and therefore really didn’t know my way around too well.  He asked why I had moved to this area and I gave him the Reader’s Digest version.. explaining that my life had been something of a challenge for the past year, but I was working on it.  He wished me luck with my situation and told me that if someone wants something badly enough, they just needed two things.. to believe in it, and work hard for it.

Just to create conversation, I told him that there had been a mass of emergency vehicles in the area that morning.. a random girl I ran into while waiting  had told me that some guy had jumped from his apartment balcony across the street.  We both exclaimed how sad and shocking that was and I internally said a short prayer for the poor soul.

Mr. Cabbie went on to tell me that he could understand someone becoming so depressed .. so hopeless.. that one would consider such extreme measures.

He explained to me that he had been sober now for 34 years.  I asked him what led him to that decision and he explained that it was his second wife. 

He had been married very young.. at 22 .. and it barely lasted a year.  He was a young buck who partied hard and his first wife could not withstand his wreckless behaviour and left him.

For several years he was alone and went through some great challenges, including being homeless. 

He had been living in an apartment in Niagara when one night there was a fire. He barely escaped with his life, never mind any of his clothing or possessions.  He didn’t even have a set of clothes… no insurance. Nothing was left.

He managed to talk a local store into giving him a small wardrobe and a winter coat on credit (it was February).  He had to live in a shelter for a time until he could get some work and rebuild himself and his life.. it was a very low period and there were times where he self medicated so often with liquor that he considered his life empty and perhaps not worth the effort to continue.

But he managed to find the inner resolve to push forward and rebuild as best he could.  Then he met a girl and remarried.

They were together for a year and he had once again succumbed to his hard partying ways and she left him. 

He was devastated.  He finally called her and said he’d do whatever it took to win her back.  She told him that he would have to pursue addiction counselling and quit the drinking and the drugs forever.  He agreed.

It was a tough go, but he had the resolve to do it because he knew that something better was there for him if he chose to work hard for it.  He continued by saying that he and his wife recently celebrated 35 years of marriage.. and 34 years of his sobriety. They’ve had a wonderful life together .. three children.. and continue to share much happiness.

He was tempted a few times over the years, but knew if he faltered he’d lose everything that truly mattered to him.  He’d been broke, homeless, addicted to booze and drugs.  He resolved at one point to change his life. And although sometimes it was a struggle, he did it despite the obstacles.

“Anything worth having is worth working hard for”.. he said.  I agreed with him wholeheartedly.

We pulled into my driveway and I scavenged in my purse for the money to pay him.  “I’ve enjoyed our conversation… by the way.. what is your name?”

“Ian”.. he said.. “I’m Beth”, I replied.

“That’s my wife’s name!” He remarked.  For some strange reason that did not strike me as a such a weird coincidence.

Every once in a while, you have what appears to be a random conversation with someone who teaches you something or brings you a valuable message or a life lesson. It’s serendipity. Finding something fortunate you really didn’t expect to find. 

Both my personal and professional lives have been rife with challenges over the last couple of years and at times I can get pretty discouraged about that.  However, here was a man who built himself up with far less going that what I have right now.  Proving to me that through sheer will and belief and hard work, you can succeed.

Ian.. it was a pleasure to meet you.  I think I’d better get back to working hard. I already have the belief that there is something better waiting for me.

Life: Serendipitous

Love: is a wonderful thing..

Pants: Just took a walk with puppy. It was lovely.

Life is a Carnival.. Enjoy the ride.

When I was a young girl, my father would often take us to a carnival that was set up along the beach strip between Hamilton and Burlington.

My sisters and I would love to go on all the rides.. we’d take turns ringing the little bell on the front of the boat ride.. pretend to be riding Harleys as we spun in circles on the motorcycle ride, scream in terror as we thought we’d go flying out of the Scrambler… and of course, there would always be the roller coasters.

The clicking as the coaster ascended the track.. the build up… the anticipation of being hurled through the air at incredible rates of speed.  The sheer terror of the drop.. the euphoric rush and heart palpitations as we soared up and down…

I recall my family visiting Wonderland for the first time.. waiting in line for a good 30 minutes or so in order to climb into a metal box and have our bodies thrown about for a mere 3 to 5 minutes of electrifying exhilaration.

This summer my son and I went to Marineland and he convinced me to ride the Dragon Fire six times in a row.  At the end of the ride I came to the conclusion that perhaps I had become far too old for this joyride.. the feeling of my brain being jostled around in my head and slammed against the side of the car now far outweighed the elation I once felt whilst flying through the perceived time space continuum.

This past week my life has felt like a veritable roller coaster.

What started out as a fun little trip quickly became an accelerated, terrifying adventure.  The slow build of the ride escalating to its peak.. then the sudden dangerous thrust of being hurtled toward the ground … wind whipping through your hair, feet dangling… feeling as if you are almost airborne… only to rise once again up the track, spinning about until dizzy and then come crashing to the bumpy stop.  End of the ride.  Please don’t forget to pick up your belongings as you depart to your left.

But as much fun as rollercoasters can be, they are a brief thrill ride..fervent, fast, furious….jarring your brain and body.  Much excitement and fun while the fleeting ride lasts, but intense and jolting and always coming to an inevitable screeching stop.  And you are sometimes left feeling a little disappointed and nauseous at the conclusion.

So, I think perhaps my rollercoaster days have come to an end. 

From now on I think the ferris wheel is more to my liking..  slowly climbing toward the sky.. being able to observe everything around with an unencumbered view of the world.. rocking the cart just enough to be slightly exciting.. but not too much to make you crash to the ground… and then the slow descent back to earth where, once again, you can plant your feet firmly on the ground.

Or maybe the carousel. I think that may be more my speed. 

But, for the record,  I did enjoy the ride. Brief as it was.

Life: Everything happens for a reason. It’s all good.

Love: I have a lot of it in my life. For that I’m thankful.

Pants: Working on that too. Time for a run.

Happy Anniversary is still Appropriate.. I think…

Today is the 20th Anniversary of the Day I was married.

All the old hilarious wedding pics are packed away.. Instead, here's a recent photo..

Now, normally people say congratulations without hesitation and give you a lovely gift or a bottle of wine and all.. especially when you reach a milestone like 20 years. However, I said it was the 20th Anniversary of my day as a bride.. not my 20th Anniversary.

We’ve been apart for 5 years now.. we separated just a few days before our 15th wedding anniversary and divorced about a year later. 

And of course, with any breakup, there’s hurt, anger, disappointment, tears, more anger, blame, yelling, silence, more tears… and after a while.. relief. And peace. At least in our situation.

I spoke with my ex husband briefly today on the phone and I did wish him a Happy Anniversary on the phone.  I’m pretty sure he had forgotten what day it was.. but at least being an “ex” he had no responsibility to remember (although he may have even if we were still married anyway.. )

The day Jamie and I were married was the Friday of the Thanksgiving weekend. I had a big white dress and big curly 80’s hair and Jamie wore a tux and cowboy boots and he too had big curly 80’s hair and a Burton Cummings porn stache.  All of our friends and family were there.. we had a great band.. the groom sang most of the night, there were a lot of great speeches and all in all it was a ton of fun.

So it’s a little sad that we aren’t together to celebrate 20 years… but I still think it’s still appropriate to consider this a “happy” anniversary.

As a result of that day 20 years ago, we had many good years together, produced two beautiful children, and many terrific memories.  Sure, we had our share of misfortune, fights and “bad” times.. and unfortunately we couldn’t get past all of what we went through.

But that’s okay.

We are who we are and where we are because of our life experiences. And really, I’m in a pretty good place right now I think.. and so is he. And most importantly, so are our  kids.

So, I think it is a Happy Anniversary of sorts.  Because regardless of our marital split, we’re still co-parents.. and although we aren’t a conventional family, we’re still family.

And I think that’s pretty cool.

Happy Anniversary Jamie. It’s all good.

Life: It’s looking good!

Love: Skip to the next one. Nothing to report at this time.

Pants: My pants are too big.. just sayin’.

The BEST BLOGPOST EVER!!!

Yes, yes indeed. 

You’ve been waiting for it. Don’t deny.

I haven’t posted since September 11th. Sad day.

Plus I’ve been busy. Making a new website www.evilgeniusmarketing.ca… and y’know,  crimefighting, saving people from themselves… doing some performance art in front of the St. Catharine’s WalMart… watching the same “Friends” DVD repeatedly.. did some Ultimate Fighting… crossed the border with nothing to declare except doll clothes… Kung Fu… flossed… laundry… worshipped Will Ferrell… made friends while influencing people… turned phallic cakes into woodland creatures (oh wait, that was Ross..).. imparted wisdom to others.. joined a band of gypsies.. mocked some circus clowns.. you know, the usual.

Ok, so I really have no excuse and this isn’t the best blog ever.

But I promise to make the next one awesome. Right after I finish fighting these Ninjas.

Life: Get busy livin’ or get busy dyin’.

Love: Nothing to report. However I do have a date this week.

Pants: I’m wearing some.. nothing to report here either.

Where Were You When the World Stopped Turning?

“Where were you when the world stopped turning that September day
Out in the yard with your wife and children
Working on some stage in LA
Did you stand there in shock at the site of
That black smoke rising against that blue sky
Did you shout out in anger
In fear for your neighbor
Or did you just sit down and cry”…

Where Were You – written and performed by Alan Jackson

On September 10th, 2001  I was in Calgary at the Canadian Country Music Awards. It was awesome. We had so much fun and partied well into the night. We had some award winners with us that night, so we were howling at the moon and had a few visits from security asking us to be a little quieter.. We finally shut ‘er down in the wee hours of  the morning.

After very little sleep..  about 9am …the phone rang. It was my friend Kirk (he’d been at the party the night before) saying “TURN ON THE TV!”.  I argued with him, thinking it was something about the awards show .. I was sleepy and didn’t feel like it.. but finally turned on the television.

Planes crashing. People dying. Buildings falling.

The world, indeed, had stopped turning.

We quickly found out that our flights scheduled for that day.. and everyone else’s .. had been cancelled. We were now in Calgary indefinitely.

I spent the day watching television. As everyone did. We were staying at the Palliser Hotel .. they quickly set up the lobby and restaurants with as many tv’s as possible.  We were glued to them. Everyone needed to make sense of this. We needed to know. We needed answers.

Many people that I knew had friends or family in New York that they couldn’t reach. I couldn’t even imagine their pain.

My concern was that I couldn’t get back to my children. I was married at the time. I called the friend watching them and she was of course understood. I called the school and the principal explained that even though Mommy and Daddy were supposed to be on a plane, we were safe.

In the meantime I had several friends who had been planning to fly out that morning and couldn’t.  They had no place to stay so ended up on the floor to our hotel suite.  We weren’t put out. We were lucky. And alive.

It was mind numbing. I don’t think I have to tell anyone that.

We were in Calgary and felt impotent.  All we could do was wait. Then I got a call.

Several friends of mine decided to gather all the artists “stuck” in Calgary and do a charity show. All money going to the firefighter association. I was asked to help.

Chas Hay,  Mike Lesperance and Randall Prescott were organizing the show. Every artist still in Calgary was willing to participate. They got a hall at the University.. organized the artists.. we brought people to the radio station to publicize it. On September 13th, we had a show.

But it wasn’t a concert. It was a vigil. A remembrance to those who had died. And a celebration of the lives that had been sacrificed.

People attending were asked to make a contribution. Most threw in $20. at least. I can’t even remember how much money was raised.

Every artist that was still in Calgary participated. Everyone on the bill did something appropriate to the occasion. Jamie Warren, Julian Austin,  Thomas Wade and Chris Cummings did “Let it Be”.. Beverley Mahood, Giselle and Particia Conroy did “Angel”.. Jann Arden graciously made an appearance. Carolyn Dawn Johnson did a song about someone leaving on a plane and not knowing if they are ever going to see that person again. I bawled.

Tons of other artists were there.. I just can’t remember them all.

CMT taped it. And all the reactions. I personally think it was the best work they have ever done.

Afterwards, we all got together and partied. Sounds bad.. but I think the joy that we were all alive………

A show featuring dozens of artists was put together in mere hours. No egos. No backbiting. No money squabbles. Everyone pulling together and comforting one another.

9-11 makes me think. I remember. It made me rethink things about my own life.

The world didn’t stop turning,. it just turns differently.  We’re all different as a result.

I hope that no one ever forgets where they were on 9/11. I won’t.